sibling

I Felt Like I Was Betraying My Daughter By Having Another Child

I remember leaving the house before sunrise the morning I gave birth to my son. My daughter, just a toddler at the time, lay sleeping peacefully in her bed. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness as I pushed her hair back to kiss her goodbye.

She had been the center of our world since her birth, and I couldn’t help but feel I was somehow betraying her by having a second baby. Would she feel like she wasn’t enough for us? I choked back sobs as I heaved my pregnant belly into the passenger seat of the car.

“Honey, it’s going to be fine.” My husband did his best to reassure me. “She will love him, just wait, you’ll see.”

Now, almost three years later I have to give the man credit, he was right. In the famous words of Forrest Gump, my kids are like peas and carrots—one doesn’t go far without the other.

Of course they still squabble and bicker with each other, they are siblings after all, but they spend most of their time playing, laughing and being silly.

The other day, as I walked down the hall of my daughter’s preschool, I noticed a colorful display of artwork. Being the proud mother that I am, I stopped to find my daughter’s masterpiece. Each child had drawn a picture with a corresponding response to the statement, I am thankful for…

I scanned the wall until my eyes came to rest on my daughter’s creation. Two clumsy stick people stood side by side, and written below them, in large, uncoordinated print were her words, I am thankful for my brother.

I felt the back of my throat tighten as tears brimmed in my eyes. I never thought I would be the mom standing in the hall trying not to cry over preschool artwork, but there I was. Such an honest display of love for her little brother—exactly what I had hoped and prayed for the morning of his birth.

Just then, from the doorway of her classroom, she spotted me in the hall. “Hi, Mommy! Do you like my picture?” She beamed up at me, proudly.

“I do, honey. It’s absolute perfect.” I said as I reached down to hug her.

I have always known my kids were close, but in that moment I realized just how much they mean to each other.

It’s hard to believe I was ever worried. Their love for one another is genuine, honest, and effortless. As their mama, my heart is happy knowing, even if they have nothing else, they will always have each other.

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6 thoughts on “I Felt Like I Was Betraying My Daughter By Having Another Child

  1. This warms my heart. I had the same worry and similar experience the morning I headed to the hospital to have my son, now 9months old. My daughter was 18months at the time, and I too felt like I was betraying her having another child. Like she needed more time with us before she had to share us with anyone, let alone a demanding baby. Now as he gets older, and she is almost 2.5 I can see the beginning of a friendship when they interact. Sibling love is the most beautiful thing a parent can witness. It makes everything worth the effort. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope to have similar ones in the future. 💗

  2. Wow, people keep telling me I’m over-emotional for having had those feelings about the birth of our second son! Thank you so much for sharing this <3

  3. I just found your blog and am so excited to read more!! Our son is only 9 months but we have talked about adding to our family and I feel this way already even though we are at least a year out from even thinking of trying for a second. I come from a family of 4 but my husband is an only so we have interesting takes on siblings.

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