1. Jess Strome

    I’m sorry but coming from your pre school teachers point of view, I’m sure she had a lot of better things to do (such as tend to the other 15 plus kids in the class) than dump your kids turd. I hope you thanked her and sent a box of chocolates to school with him the next day.

    • Oh my gosh, thank you for pointing this out, Jess. I had never considered that she had “better things to do”. All this time I thought preschool teachers sat around watching Netflix and drinking coffee. I guess I just assumed all the beautiful art projects and sweet, silly songs my kids come home with had been self-taught. Thank you for setting me straight.

      I love my kids’ teachers, they are invaluable, and bust their asses taking care of my babies. I can tell by your comment, you must not work with parents that feel that way. For that I’m sorry. All teachers should feel valued, but should also be able to laugh at things that are funny–especially glaringly-obvious humor written by a preschool mama.

  2. Briana Landino

    As a daycare provider…. I treat soiled underwear the same way I treat a diaper. Fold it up, and put it away – only away means in a bag for parents and not the trash (unless a parent directs us to thrown soiled underwear away – which sounds like it might be a good idea for you). Taking underwear to the toilet, scraping the BM out (which licensing frowns upon), etc. Involves leaving the classroom again, and an extra trip to the restroom – and leaving kids unattended for a few minutes – it may not seem like much – but it is when you have little people who need you. An accident in and of itself is difficult enough to clean up, but adding an extra few minutes to walk to the restroom, scrape out a BM, and then come back and bag the clothes. I’ve had quite a few parents surprised at this – but it’s just not practical for me to dispose of it that way. Trust me, it’s not exactly wonderful to bag up a BM either. 😉

    • I seriously had NO IDEA about the rules, but it was certainly a shock to say the least. I told my teacher she has my full support and permission to trash future accidents and move on with her day! They didn’t mention the turd return policy at enrollment. 🙂

  3. I didn’t know that this was standard practice either, though I can understand why now that people have explained it. My kids are past preschool, and I don’t remember ever taking a turd home, but I may have repressed the memory. I think a heads-up that you might just want to toss out the bag would have been nice, but see, now you have a good story to tell the first time he brings a date home.

  4. This is hysterical. I live this journey of parenthood through humor and laughter for sure and no one should be getting offended. I have also been where you are so I totally relate. My husband usually “Dealt” with the shit but I still remember there was a week when he was out of town. I made sure that any poo accidents were fully permitted to be trashed. Dont waste time “saving that shit”. No thank you. Buying new underwear 100% worth it. There is rules and regulations and its understandable. I def think the “heads up” would suffice. And regardless…Have a laugh and move on people. She is not trying to stab your eyes out.

      • Ditto. Lol We clearly should be friends. Anyone who writes about “Shit” in a way that makes me laugh is good stuff. This parenting business is tough. Humor makes it much better to handle. Just wait until your kids decide to ummm…play with their poo. Oh, yes. Been there. Smeared everywhere in the middle of the night. KILL.ME.NOW. You have been warned. Just remember. You are not alone.

  5. Liz

    First time reader and have to say I loved your story and found it hysterical and so well written. I’m sorry the majority of responses are from people who are completely unaware that said policy of not discarding turd is not common knowledge! It’s not at all!! I’m a mom of two littles who have attended daycare etc and fortunately (for all parties involved) mine have only wet their pants (as of this writing) but if I was sent home a bag of clothes with a poop still in tow I would be mortified. Naturally, once it’s explained WHY it is included, I can understand but I think not informing parents beforehand is where the centers’ erred. Anyhoo, again, sorry you had an unsolicited barrage of naysayers condemn you for expressing shock over poo poo filled clothing. I thought it was funny and on point like crazy.

  6. Angela J Brown

    First, I’m pretty impressed you’ve only gotten one nasty comment on here. Mommy-blogs tend to attract the trollish… Second: so gross, but so funny. I would never have thought that discarding it would be such an issue, but I suppose it makes sense when you think about it– sort of–no, it’s still gross.

    When my youngest was in kindergarten she came home from school wearing an entirely different outfit… I was like WTH? I found a note in her folder telling me that she’d accidentally fallen into the toilet and they had to strip her. (I don’t even know how that’s possible… but it’s my kid so really it’s wasn’t a terrible surprise either…) They left her Curious George shirt to dry off– and it vanished, so she came home in some other kid’s sweatsuit….

    I figure teaching elementary school is a bit like parenting, when crap happens (sometimes quite literally) you just gotta wing it and hope it works out for the best 🙂

    • There’s only one on the blog, a few on Facebook, and then some in my private inbox. Hahaha! Oh well, I guess not everyone finds the humor in a shitty situation. 🙂

  7. Becky

    I work in a church nursery and I wash the poop out. I would have never thought not too. If it’s up the back bad slimy gross runny I cut the undies off no harm no foul. I feel like lots of people were missing the jest component of this. Being a mama is hard! I love that you see the humor in it 💗

  8. Shelly

    Unless it’s a totally solid one that can very easily be tipped over and dumped onto the changing paper, I too follow licensing and training to not clean out the underwear. I do, however, put the undies in their own bag so they a) don’t soil the other clothing more than they already are and b) can be thrown away easily if the parent chooses to.
    I’m so sorry she didn’t give you any warning or separate the bags

  9. Lu

    OMG, this same thing happened to me and my, then 3 yr old. Took the bag home, dumped it into the washer…and noticed something heavy fell out of the bag! THankfully, the big turd was still inside the underwear so I didn’t have to fish it out of the washer and I didn’t unkowingly wash a small load of clothing in some shit detergent. Talk about spreading germs. Yeah, his teacher could have easily told me he didn’t dump the turd. I know they are extremely busy, but seriously, when a child poops his pants, don’t they change them in the bathroom anyway? How hard is it to simply hold the underwear over the toilet so the big turd falls in it? No amount of scraping necessary. It takes a few seconds and doesn’t cause any extra work on the teacher’s part.

  10. b

    This was hilarious. As a cloth diapering mom, I, unfortunately expected and received daily returns for 2 years. I do recall, however, how sad I was when my oldest moved from the baby room where the sweet caregiver use to dump before sticking in my ‘specially provided cloth diaper pail’ to the room where the caregivers did not have time to worry about such things. I’m having flashbacks now. Whew, so happy everyone is finally potty trained.

  11. This totally just made my day. Not just this HILARIOUS story, but also your response to some of the ridiculous comments. Thanks for this Close To Classy. I needed this 🙂 I will be back for more of your content. LOVE IT!

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