slobs

My Kids Are Slobs And It’s Driving Me Crazy

If Toys R’ Us and a dumpster had a baby, it would be my house. It’s a mess, all the time. I’m trying to teach my children responsibility, but they are freaking slobs, and I’m losing my mind. Every day is Groundhog Day, I repeat the same sentences, battle the same problems, and trip over […]

the fog

The Fog

A friend once told me there would come a time when the fog would lift. She was referring to the fog that settles around a mother with small children. The fog of motherhood comes on so quickly, you almost don’t notice it, but before long it’s so thick you’re only able to focus on the […]

Introvert Mother, Party Of One, Your Table Is Now Available

There was a time in my life I wouldn’t be caught dead dining alone in a restaurant. In fact, I didn’t like doing anything alone. I enjoyed the company of other people and would often call a girlfriend just to make a quick trip to Target. I was adventurous, carefree, and loved meeting new people. […]

Enjoy

What People Really Mean When They Say ‘Enjoy Every Moment’

The other day, I was in a restaurant with my family, when my three-year-old decided to act like a three-year-old. I’d like to blame fatigue, hunger or any other excuse you might be willing to buy, but the truth is, he was just being a ridiculous pain in the ass. To be fair, he has […]

vacationing

Vacationing With Little Kids Is Not Relaxing, I Don’t Care What You Say

This past week my family of four went on a small “vacation”. Yes, I put vacation in quotations, because leaving your home for an extended period of time with a three and five-year-old is not really a vacation. Oddly, the smoothest part of our trip was the five-hour car ride. Maybe it’s because I packed […]

I’m No June Cleaver

Wearing a greasy ponytail, and over-sized sweatpants, I sat at our dining room table, engaged in a staring contest with a blueberry muffin. These culinary stare-downs had become a hobby of mine as I convinced myself to eat something I would inevitably throw up. It was a Saturday morning, and I was seven months pregnant. […]

maternity

Inadequate Maternity Leave Is The Hardest Part of Early Motherhood

I remember the day I told my employer I was pregnant. I’d spent the morning rehearsing the conversation in my head. I was just entering my second trimester, but the bump beneath my shirt was growing much faster than it had with my first pregnancy, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide it […]

work

I Feel Guilty Missing Work When My Kid Is Sick

I’m a recovering perfectionist-control freak. I’d like to tell you my recovery is by choice, but the truth is, I was nudged into recovery by the demands of motherhood—and by nudged, I mean violently shoved. I had to make a choice between my need for perfection and my sanity, keeping both wasn’t an option with […]

poop

My Son’s Preschool Teacher Gave Me A Bag Of Crap

I’m a little over five years into my time as a mother, and yesterday I experienced another first—I unknowingly carried around a turd in a plastic bag. That’s right, a ball of shit in a plastic sack—I carried it around like a kitten in a basket. You may be asking yourself how something so absurd […]

husband

Dear Husband, I Love You, But You’re Kind Of A Slob

Dear Husband, I love you. I do, really, even though you’re currently making me crazy, I know you’re a good guy, that’s why I married you. So, I’m staring at a pile of your dirty laundry, on the floor, two feet from the laundry basket, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s making me a little stabby. […]