hope, daughter, mother, mom blog, letter

A Letter To My Daughter: I Hope You’re Nothing Like Me

I have been waiting for you. Since I was a little girl toting around a baby doll, I have been practicing to be your mommy. I have dreamed about reading you bedtime stories and tucking you in. Your perfect eyes and warm smile, I’ve pictured them in my mind countless times. I’ve hoped for the […]

potty training, potty train, mom blog

Potty Training: A How To Guide To Failure

I hate to say this, but my daughter has been a bit of a test run. And bless her heart, she has survived. Becoming a parent is one of my proudest accomplishments, but it has humbled me, and brought me to my knees on more than one occasion. Potty training was one of those occasions. I […]

favorite parent, mom blog, humor blog, parents, parenting, funny

When Kids Pick A Favorite Parent, Mom Should Always Win

Every kid has a favorite parent, whether we want to admit it or not. Each house is a little different, but in our house the favorite parent is proclaimed the best friend. “Mommy, you are my best friend!” Translation: BEST. PARENT. EVER. Being someone’s best friend is the highest honor you can receive in Kid World. […]

time change, mom blog, humor blog

Time Change: Waking Zombies

I know you aren’t supposed to wish your life away, but why isn’t it the weekend yet? Or even Wednesday. I’d take Wednesday. At least Wednesday is halfway through the week. You can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Not Tuesday, though. If days of the week were people, Tuesday would […]

A Behavior Contract: One Mom’s Dream

If I could draw up a behavior contract with my children, I could eliminate some major parenting pitfalls. I imagine it would go down like this. We would meet around the dining room table. There would be a plate of complementary cookies and several glasses of milk available as we discussed business. Nothing says, “I […]

A Letter To A New Mom

I saw you the other day, and I wanted to tell you, you are doing a great job. Like the pain of child birth, those first few months as a new mommy are easy to forget once your babies aren’t babies anymore. I forgot until I saw you. I forgot about the hormones that take […]

Kids are Gross: Parenting Boot Camp

Kids are great, but seriously, they should give you a hazmat suit as a parting gift when you leave the hospital. Or at least a mask. Maybe some gloves. Something to prepare you for the Katrina-like parenting disaster you are about to experience.  Each kid is uniquely gross. Allow me to provide you an example. […]

adults behaving

Child-Like Behavior Leads To Arrest After Road-Rage Incident

The day I was arrested started out like any other day. I was the third car in line as I waited at a stop light during my morning commute. When the light finally turned green the guy in front remained motionless in his Ford Focus. Honking irrupted almost immediately, in an attempt to move the stationary […]

I Co-Sleep And I Don’t Feel Guilty About It

I slept with two men last night. To be fair, it’s not even my first time, I’ve done it many times before. I don’t normally talk about it, because everyone freaks out. I should clarify, I’m talking about my husband and my 2-year-old son. So, I guess only one man, technically speaking. The other one […]

Leaving the House with Children

Mornings. I don’t even know where to start. My goal is to leave the house. Seems simple, doesn’t it? I remember leaving the house pre-children. It went like this- Wake up. Shower. Get dressed. Leave. That routine has changed slightly since having children. Have you seen the show Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls? Post-children, […]