I’m Sorry My Dog Peed On Your Toothbrush

I’ve never been one to hit the mark on my first try. For most of my life, my first attempt at new things has fallen somewhere between mediocre and outright disaster. Admittedly, I’m a bit of a mess, but I’ve found comfort in this role over the years. I no longer walk into new experiences […]


Don’t Feed Them After Midnight Or Let Them Take Evening Naps

Something horrible happened yesterday. My 3-year-old refused to take his afternoon nap, and then fell asleep at 5 p.m. I know what you’re thinking, “That doesn’t sound that horrible, lady, get a grip.” But, let me assure you, it was the seventh circle of threenage hell. If you’ve ever experienced an event of this nature and […]

dear toddler

Dear Toddler, I Love You, But You Need To Chill

Hello My Little Sweet Potato, We need to talk. I know you’re going through some very important developmental milestones, but I have some concerns about your behavior, that I feel we should address. Last night you whipped your diaper off with such force that a nugget of poo flew across the room and struck me in the […]


I Don’t Want To Be Your Mom-Friend

Hi Regina, I’m writing in response to the ten emails about Ladies Night at TGIFriday’s. Sorry I didn’t respond the first nine times, there was a swarm of angry bees and I couldn’t get a good WiFi signal. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it to TGIFriday’s this week, or your Let’s Get Lit candle party next […]


Vacation Bites: I am Clark Griswold

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, but sometimes, vacations are hard. Maybe it’s just me, but in my house, I’m the planner, the organizer and the packer. My husband, bless his heart, is the sweetest, most laidback man on the planet, but he doesn’t plan or pack.  He tolerates me and my neurotic tendencies, that’s […]

10 Things I Didn’t Know About T-Ball

I signed my four-year-old daughter up for T-ball. For those of you laughing, let me explain. I thought it would be a fun summer activity and a free t-shirt. Lots of running, dirt and sunshine- the stuff great summers are made of. Now, three practices in, I’m questioning my sanity. Let me tell you what T-ball […]

boy-mom, mom blog, boys

Things I’ve Learned As A Boy-Mom

When I was pregnant with my son people often told me how different it was to raise a boy in comparison to a girl. I usually laughed and made some ridiculous comment about dirt or trucks. I was so naïve. So, so naïve. I already had one kid, so I was basically operating with expert-level […]

Grocery shopping, mom blog

Grocery Shopping Is Awful

I opened the pantry this morning and watched a tumble weed roll past an empty box of Poptarts. I stood staring at the nearly empty shelves waiting for a meal idea to spring to mind. Nothing. I gave it a few more seconds as I looked over the options. Black beans and powdered sugar. Corn […]

toddler hell, mom blog, behavior

Toddler Hell: We Have Arrived

My toddler’s behavior is so ridiculous I’m seriously questioning my parenting strategy. The change in my son’s behavior has been so gradual I almost didn’t realize what was happening. I wrote it off as a bad day. I explained his emotional meltdowns as tiredness or hunger. I know how a guy can get when he […]

st-at-home mom, mom blog,

I Can’t Be A Stay-At-Home Mom

I’ve been home from work, with my kids, for the past two days, and I have a question. How the hell do stay-at-home moms do this? Are they super-human? Do they drink a lot? Are they sadists who love laundry? Mad props to you, ladies, I am dying, I can’t do what you do. Seriously, […]