I’m Sorry My Dog Peed On Your Toothbrush

I’ve never been one to hit the mark on my first try. For most of my life, my first attempt at new things has fallen somewhere between mediocre and outright disaster. Admittedly, I’m a bit of a mess, but I’ve found comfort in this role over the years. I no longer walk into new experiences […]


Vacationing With Little Kids Is Not Relaxing, I Don’t Care What You Say

This past week my family of four went on a small “vacation”. Yes, I put vacation in quotations, because leaving your home for an extended period of time with a three and five-year-old is not really a vacation. Oddly, the smoothest part of our trip was the five-hour car ride. Maybe it’s because I packed […]


I Feel Guilty Missing Work When My Kid Is Sick

I’m a recovering perfectionist-control freak. I’d like to tell you my recovery is by choice, but the truth is, I was nudged into recovery by the demands of motherhood—and by nudged, I mean violently shoved. I had to make a choice between my need for perfection and my sanity, keeping both wasn’t an option with […]


Don’t Feed Them After Midnight Or Let Them Take Evening Naps

Something horrible happened yesterday. My 3-year-old refused to take his afternoon nap, and then fell asleep at 5 p.m. I know what you’re thinking, “That doesn’t sound that horrible, lady, get a grip.” But, let me assure you, it was the seventh circle of threenage hell. If you’ve ever experienced an event of this nature and […]


What To Give Your Child When You Can’t Afford Christmas

“We didn’t have any money, and I barely had any gifts for you.” My mother’s voice shook as she recounted a Christmas Eve night many years ago. I was just a child at the time, tucked snuggly in my bed, but unable to sleep. The giddy anticipation of Christmas morning was more than enough to […]


Explaining Parenthood to a Non-Parent

The other night I used a sandwich bag as a makeshift glove to fish poop from the bathtub. As I did this, I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, and I almost laughed outloud. I looked ridiculous, ferrying fistfuls of crap from the bathtub to the toilet. If only there were a […]


Why I Almost Abandoned Motherhood

I feel bad saying this, but I need a break from my kids—and not the psychotic break I’m currently working towards. Just a few days ago I was doing OK. My kids were well-behaved, and I was feeling confident in my parenting abilities. The past 12 hours of child-related nonsense have sufficiently derailed whatever that […]


The Bedtime Tango

“Get back in bed! Why are you out of bed again?!” This is my nightly mantra, tonight is no different. The more kids you have, the more you say things like this. Which leaves me wondering how late parents, with three or more kids, stay-up re-directing bedtime traffic. I have never seen a child as […]

Lying: A Necessity of Motherhood

Honesty is the best policy, or so they say. Well, here’s a little piece of truth for ya, I lie to my kids all the time, and if your kid believes in Santa, or the Tooth Fairy, you probably do too. I don’t lie to them out of malice. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. […]

10 Things I Didn’t Know About T-Ball

I signed my four-year-old daughter up for T-ball. For those of you laughing, let me explain. I thought it would be a fun summer activity and a free t-shirt. Lots of running, dirt and sunshine- the stuff great summers are made of. Now, three practices in, I’m questioning my sanity. Let me tell you what T-ball […]